Making a bet

Two things I have had to get used to very quickly here, the first is being laughed at and second is the different way size is viewed.

As you learn Luganda, one of the dialects found in Uganda and the one most commonly spoken in Kampala, you are met with lots of laughter. My English tongue just can’t stay out of the way long enough to pronounce the long vowel-strewn words. The official language in Uganda is English, but only those people with a formal education speak English, everyone else uses the dialect of their particular tribe or clan. The worst part: Luganda won’t work outside of Kampala.

On the other hand to be larger here is not necessarily a bad thing. But to those of us who are us who are used to the North American ideal of thin being best, it can take some getting used to. For example, I am driving home with my special hire (taxi) on Friday night, we are stuck in traffic and making bets as to how long it will take to get back to Mengo hospital.

I say “I’ll bet you a Rolex (fried egg wrapped with a chapatti) that…” – and here I was cut off.

“Angela,” he said, “I don’t eat Rolexs, they will make me fat.”

“But I eat them all the time and I am only a little fat,” I reply.

I wait for the typical North American response to calling myself fat. And I wait. And wait. And wait.

There was clearly no response coming, so I launch into the concept of fishing for compliments and how western women want to hear they are not overweight, but look lovely.

I explain that I want him to say – “no you are not fat.”

“Oh,” he says, “You want me to lie.”

“No, that is not the point; it’s just the way it works.”

“But you are fat,” he says. I know he isn’t being mean and in fact I could take it as a compliment.

But I still can’t hear “you are fat” as positive so I tell him again how I really would prefer hearing that I am not large and jokingly add maybe I should be looking for another driver.

We finally reach an agreement that I am a good size and many Ugandan men would like the traditional built women.

Good thing, I was getting ready to swear off Rolexs for good, which is problematic as they are an excellent & cheap fast food option.